Today is a bittersweet day for me, it is Jess's 12th birthday. Jess is my 4th born, and 3rd son (boy was Rebekah feeling out numbered on that day). Unfortunately, Jess passed away 2 weeks later, but today my focus is on his birth and the things he taught me while he was here with us. He taught me more about my faith and the power of prayer, he taught me how to be bold in my faith even though others may not agree with me, he taught me to love more deeply. So many things he taught me.... these are just a few. Today I will remember how each of the kids got to hold him and get to know him, how they got to participate in his first sponge bath and hear him cry. I will remember how his Daddy looked so full of love and pride when he held another son that he would play ball with. I will remember he looked like Bret and that he cried more than any of his brothers or sister did when they were born. I will remember holding him a few times and trying to nurse him. I will remember trying to get him to take a sip of breastmilk from a medicine cup so he could experience the taste and how he seemed to really like it. I will remember having the kids come to visit with Santa Claus at his beside and exchanging ornaments with them. I will remember that they all got to hold him for 1 quick snuggle that night and how encouraged we all were. I will remember praying with all of us together and daily with him and his Daddy. I remember singing to him. I will remember every good thing that happened in those 2 short weeks and I know it is by God's amazing grace that I have come this far. I will dream today of how you would look at 12 and wonder what would your spirit be like? Would you like sports like your brothers and Dad, would you like music? Would you be a thinker or a doer? So many things........ Most of all I give thanks today for your birth, your life and your love. I am thankful that you live with our Heavenly Father in Heaven and that today you are celebrating with the Angels. Happy 12th Birthday.
I love you.
